It’s all a matter of perspective I guess. Sometimes all it takes is a shift in your point of view to make things take on a whole new light.
The only way for me to meaningfully continue my life at the moment is to look at this whole Stage IV breast cancer situation in a better light. I have to adopt a different way of thinking to compensate for the abrupt change in where I thought my life was going. Right now I feel the need to justify this cancer and give it meaning. There has to be a reason this happened and I’ll make one up if I have to. First off, I’ve realized that since being diagnosed I haven’t died yet, which is good. In fact, I’m feeling pretty great now that I have my body back from chemo and I can do most anything I want to do! I certainly don’t want to fritter my time away sitting around feeling sad about my fate. What a waste!
So I shift my perspective.
I like to play the “what if” game: What if I came here from two hundred years in the past? How would I perceive the world now? What would it be like to ride in a car for the first time, or to look up and see a plane or a helicopter? What about a radio, or a smart phone – heck a landline even? What about common household appliances?
It blows the mind really to think of how far we’ve come and how amazing we have made this place! We have the whole of the planet’s knowledge at our fingertips and mankind is the most powerful it’s ever been. Sometimes I like to stop and appreciate what we’ve accomplished and think that overall, we’ve done more good than harm.
And I appreciate what I have now from this point of view. I delight in it.
What if we are all energy that lives beyond these bodies? What if we’ve chosen to limit our consciousness in the confines of this body so to experience this life through the filter of our physical senses? Maybe our soul sees the whole light spectrum but it’s only through human eyes that we can see a rainbow? Maybe it’s just in this human body that we can feel the warmth of the sun, the caress of a breeze, enjoy the taste of a peach or feel the softness of a cat’s fur.
That’s been my favorite “what if” so far. The thought that I am here by choice to appreciate all the aspects of my self that I can through the filter of my body. I want to savor every experience. Oooo! And eat! And run! And laugh and cry and feel that hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach when I’m scared! In that “what if” those are all sensations I wouldn’t have otherwise and they take on a magic of their own when viewed in that light.
In that what if, being human becomes extraordinary.
There’s just so many things I’m really grateful for and I find myself stopping more often and just savoring. I’m here. Right now And to have this moment is such a gift.
Except on I-70 this morning…that just sucked.