Creativity is fleeting. Sometimes musical inspiration comes in bursts where every time I lay my fingers on the keyboard, something new comes out. Something original and beautiful. Strange chords flow together to create a magical and unique piece that gives me goosebumps when I play it. I love those times and I’ve come to embrace them because I know they aren’t a daily occurrence.
Some days, many days, more days than not, I feel dull. I can’t write anything. I am a ball of frustration, emotionally and spiritually. I feel I have no way to express myself, and I’m stuck in 4/4 time playing predictable chords, unable to capture the magic that I can occasionally create. I’m no less the person than I was last week, no less feeling or thoughtful. But I can’t bring it out – like I’m listening through a wall of cotton or fighting the confines of an invisible net. How do I express my frustration, the frustration at being unable to express? It is exhausting sometimes to have the only source of inspiration be inside my head. To be the only one to constantly contrive chord progressions and topics.
I’m tired too of confining my words to safe topics. I’m too worried that my lyrics will be hurtful to those I love or reveal too much of what I’ve tried so hard to keep hidden. I have no patience for these dull days but I suppose they are necessary to the creative process. These quiet days when in my mind I am building a song often without realizing it are likely vital to my music writing. I listen to other artists and marvel at how they could have come up with such eloquent chord progressions or hold a discordant note improbably long only to end in a beautiful resolution. I find myself wishing I could do that and seem to forget that, sometimes, I can.
It’s so easy to lose oneself in their own head. To lose perspective and objectivity about what it is that you do. Each and every one of us is capable of something truly remarkable and the trick is remembering that during those times of quiet normality.